By Lisa Blanck

Is Wes Anderson’s new film, The Phoenician Scheme, subtly political in nature?  Is Anderson, in fact, poking jabs at the current American administration?  It’s impossible not to compare the vile actions both subtle and overt, of Zsa-Zsa Korda (Benecio Del Toro), the main character and villain of the piece.  His family motto: “If something gets in your way, FLATTEN IT”.  Married thrice, one of Korda’s wives dies under mysterious circumstances.  Was it suicide? Murder?  And if it was murder… by whose hand?  Did he love any of his wives?  Not according to Korda.  When asked, I believe he says he “enjoyed their company”, or something along those lines.  Romance is foreign to him. 

Korda is one of the wealthiest men in the world.  He’s a snake when it comes to business, screwing over his partners as easily as lighting a cigar.  Every decision is meant to enhance his own bottom line.  He’s also managed to escape death many times, be it in plane crashes (multiple), assassination attempts (multiple), etc. etc.  Whoever he is with perishes, while Korda walks away, sometimes almost unscathed.

Korda has a running gag in the film: “I know that guy, he tried to kill me.  He once worked for me.”  Fighter pilots, elevator operators, terrorists, all receive the same strange identification.

So, you’re probably asking, what’s the film about?  I wish I knew.  It’s a Wes Anderson film.  That means you must guess at the plot.  It has something to do with getting people all over the world to bend to a rich man’s wishes and support his scheme to build more trains, boats and planes emblazoned with his moniker.  He sends for his only daughter, who shows up on his doorstep in her habit.  Yes, she’s a nun.  She’s beautiful, yet just as bizarre as he is.  He has a boatload of sons of varying ages, produced by his former wives, who now all live with him on a trial basis.  He’s a terrible father, of course, barely acknowledging their existence, except when one continually attempts to shoot him with a bow and arrow.  Despite not knowing much about her, Korda’s decided to make his only daughter, Liesl (Mia Threapleton) his heir apparent.  On a trial basis, of course. 

The pair, accompanied by a very strange personal assistant named Bjorn (Michael Cera) who has an affection for insects, set off on a transatlantic journey.  The mission is to convince various members of Korda’s extended family and business associates, plus a potential bride of extreme wealth (Scarlett Johansson) to ‘invest’ in his company, for a portion of the profits.  She would become his bride… ‘on a trial basis’. Of course, none of them would ever see a penny of the profit, and they KNOW this.  They may all be weird, but they’re not stupid. 

Korda has multiple passports, refusing to become a citizen of any one country because he knows everything he does is a scheme.  If he ties himself to one nation, he’ll be held criminally liable for his misdeeds.  He believes he “doesn’t need his human rights” as he’s above everyone else.  Korda is on the Most Wanted List of what appears to be the FBI, run by Excalibur (Rupert Friend), who have been tracking his activity across the globe, clothed in cookie-cutter outfits.

Not that The Phoenician Scheme needs to get any weirder, but there are multiple scenes inserted of Korda in an afterlife courtroom, being judged by a bearded God in flowing robes, and the witness is a young novitiate.  Who else is in the courtroom, judging Korda’s mortal misdeeds? Willem Dafoe.  F. Murray Abraham.  It’s a shame that Gene Hackman has passed away, for he surely, surely would have fit right in.  These sequences were, by far, the most enjoyable ones.  

All deadpan, acting without affect, the usual troupe of Anderson characters cavort across the screen, with no known reason for their appearance.  The casting is stellar: Benedict Cumberbatch, Hope Davis… as a Mother Superior of all things.  Tom Hanks and Bryan Cranston play a wild game of HORSE on an improvised basketball court against Del Toro and Riz Ahmed to see who will win.. what?  I don’t even know if I knew while I watched The Phoenician Scheme.  A contract?  A part of the profits? It’s all just bizarre.  I mean, his assistant travels with a crate full of hand grenades, to be used as bargaining chips whenever Korda deems them useful  

You know it’s going to be bizarre when, in the first few moments after a plane crash that Korda ‘miraculously survived after being declared DEAD’, he’s soaking in a tub in his humongous black and white tiled bathroom, his needs being seen to by multiple nurses.  One brings him a bottle of champagne, pops the cork, pours him a glass, then re-corks the bottle and places it in the ice-filled bidet in the bathroom.  Because, why not?

You’ll find yourself laughing at the complete absurdity of the dialogue and the situations.  You’ve got to absorb the film in a piecemeal manner; I just don’t know how it’s supposed to hold together.  It’s so insane, it’s so manic.  My favorite character is Jeffrey Wright, who plays Marty, one of Korda’s potential business partners.  He’s hysterical, primarily because, in Anderson’s inscrutable world, he’s almost human.  He also utters the line that, for me,  completely sums up The Phoenician Scheme, ‘an absurd performance’.  Marty and Korda, and others, all settle their business differences by literally screaming at each other, simultaneously and incomprehensibly.  Because why not? 

2Shot with Anderson’s usual boxy, color oversaturated, pink-tinged visuals, the performances are necessarily meticulous.  In contrast, the music is beautiful and elegant with passages from Stravinsky’s The Rite of Spring and Mussorgsky’s Pictures at an Exhibition.  Adam Stockhausen, (Moonrise Kingdom, Grand Budapest Hotel, French Dispatch, Asteroid City), is, once again, the go-to guy for Production Designer, so Phoenician has exactly the same look and feel as much else in the Director’s oeuvre.  If you appreciated his films before, you’ll probably appreciate Phoenician.  But, in my opinion, it’s much more difficult and less traditional, story-wise, than Asteroid City.  If you enjoy the absurdity, and can explain it to me, I welcome the input. With films like these, I’m always left feeling I watched something in English, but one step removed from my native tongue.

2 stars