By Nick Nitkowski 

One of the things I’ve learned about myself is that, on occasion, I am a glutton for punishment. That punishment usually comes in the form of bad movies. 9 times out of 10, I know what I’m getting myself into and subject myself to it willingly. But that 1 time out of 10, I have no idea what I’m subjecting myself to until it’s too late. “Fixed” is that movie. Somehow, people were aware of what this movie was and knew ahead of time that it was something to avoid. I was not so fortunate. All I knew was that it was a hand-drawn animated raunchy comedy about a dog about to Fixed be fixed and escapes to use his little buddies one last time. Written and directed by Genny Tartakovsky who was responsible for the first three “Hotel Transylvania” movies as well as a few TV gems like “Dexter’s Laboratory”, “The Powerpuff Girls”, and “Samurai Jack” to name a few.

I’m not going to be koi or beat around the bush on this one. This movie was awful. I honestly couldn’t believe that the man behind the great and enjoyable titles that I had mentioned was responsible for this. And to make matters worse, this is coming from Sony Animation, who just released their megahit on Netflix “KPop Demon Hunters”. To have this come out right at the height of their recent success is a travesty. I don’t like shitting on peoples’ work because I know the time and effort it takes to make a movie, especially hand-drawn animation, which in this day and age is almost considered to be a lost art form, but that artistic expression is wasted on this.

This movie stars Adam Devine as the voice of Bull, who is the main focus of the film, Kathryn Hahn as the voice of Honey who is Bull’s love interest, a few additional characters voiced by people you’ve definitely seen in movies before, but the most egregious voice that they managed to cast in this film, and I still wish to know how they got him to say yes to this movie, is Idris Elba as the voice of Rocco. Idris Elba is the kind of actor who can pretty much take on any role that he wants, and he chose this. This is about as puzzling as Al Pacino saying yes to “Jack and Jill”.

I can’t entirely fault the actors for saying yes to this kind of movie because they’re always looking to get a paycheck, and this had to be the easiest one to collect for them. But one of the main issues with this movie is the writing. I don’t know if anything in this movie was improved or not, but nothing, and I truly mean nothing, in this movie was funny. I did not laugh once during the entirety of this film. All this movie was was a bunch of dogs saying “fuck” a lot. My younger adolescent self probably would have eaten this shit up back in the late 1990’s to early 2000’s, but I’m an adult now with standards and a more matured-ish sense of humor.

As I had mentioned, this is a hand-drawn animation film which is an art form that I deeply respect, but my God did this movie make me seriously question my stance on that. The animation style is very reminiscent of the “Ren & Stimpy” cartoon show. If you’ve seen that, then you know the style well. But the main issue with this particular movie is the excessive and relentless shots of dog anuses and flapping testicles. Seriously, if you take a shot every time you see balls or buttholes in this movie, you’d be dead before the halfway mark. Remember that one episode of “Bob’s Burgers” where Linda’s sister paints a copious amount of animal anuses? Imagine if she made her first feature-length movie. It would probably be something like this. 

Overall, “Fixed” is a movie that has the disadvantage of existing in the year 2025. The writing, the humor, and even the animation all belong in the 1990’s and probably would have thrived back then, but as it stands in the here and now, it is comparable to a flaming back of dog poo left on one’s door step waiting for its victim to stomp it out. There is no entertainment value to be found here, not even by today’s adolescents who I’m sure have seen way raunchier and funnier content on their phones that lasts under a minute long. I can’t wait to put this experience out of my mind as quickly as possible. Avoid this movie at all costs because there is nothing about it that can be “Fixed” to make it worth watching.

0 stars