By Nick Nitkowski 

Back in 1984, we got a new kind of hero. One that nobody asked for, but we got anyway. A hero born out of toxic chemicals and hellbent on avenging to citizens of New Jersey. He is known as the Toxic Avenger! Now, in good ol’ nostalgia capitalistic fashion, Toxie is back and revamped for a good old-fashioned remake for the modern audience. Can this new rendition of “The Toxic Avenger” still carry the weight of his toxic mop? Or will the chemicals of modern times break this franchise down?

I actually never saw the original “Toxic Avenger” trilogy, but I was well aware of its existence. I wasn’t sure if it was going to be my vibe or not, but I am a fan of Peter Dinklage who is the new face of Toxie in this remake, so I was more than willing to give this movie a solid chance. And if it won me over, I’d go and check out the original trilogy to see how they compare to the new style. So, how was the remake on its own?

In all honesty, this movie felt like your modernized Grindhouse style movie. Lots of campy moments and dialogue, along with a lot of practical effects mixed in with some CGI for some of the bloodier moments. If this sounds like your thing, then you are the part of the right audience for this movie. But unfortunately, I didn’t really vibe with this movie, which is odd because I sometimes like the campy Grindhouse style movies, but this particular movie just didn’t do it for me. I was genuinely excited to watch this movie, and I really wanted to like it, but alas, I did not, and there are some reasons as to why that is.

As I had mentioned earlier, this movie stars Peter Dinklage as the title character of the film, and he does a decent job with what he is given. I was somewhat disappointed to learn that he is not the one in the Toxie outfit but instead provides the voice of the character. Which I understand as it might be difficult to act while being buried in all of that prosthetic makeup. Many have undergone this endeavor with immense difficulty, ala Jim Carrey. He does have some screentime for the first half of the movie. This movie also stars Kevin Bacon as the main antagonist, Elijah Wood, as his henchman/relative, and Jacob Tremblay as Toxie’s son. 

The movie provides plenty of bloody action scenes, most of which were given away in the trailers, which is why I’m not always prone to the Red Band trailers because they tend to give away the best stuff leaving very little left when you actually sit down and watch the movie. If you were fortunate to avoid the Red Band trailer, then you just might find yourself having a much better time with the action scenes.

My biggest issue with the movie is that it didn’t go balls-to-the-wall insane like I expected it to. I personally think “Planet Terror” from Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino’s “Grindhouse” movie was more intense than “The Toxic Avenger”. I only compare those two because it felt like it was part of the same campy style. I wanted it to go more over the top and crazier with both the acting and the violence. Instead, I got clunky dialogue with moderately entertaining action that was mostly given away in the trailer. It could have been fun in a goofy kind of way, and some may see it that way, but for me, it could have been more so if they just really leaned into it and go no holds barred. If you’re gonna put the “Unrated” mark on the poster, you had best bring you’re A-game. 

Overall, I’m sure that “The Toxic Avenger” will find its audience, whether it be fans of the original source material or fans of silly, campy hero movies with a Grindhouse edge to it. While I do applaud the movie for its use of practical effects, it just didn’t connect with me like I hoped it would, but don’t let that deter you from seeing it if this is one of your anticipated movies this year. There’s still a good chance that this movie is for you. It’s not good by any stretch of the imagination. There’s no doubt about that, but it could be fun for the right toxic audience. Be sure to stay after the end credits for an extended bonus scene at the very end.

2 stars