By Dan Skip Allen  

Coming of age films come in all shapes and sizes. That being said, they all feature a young man or a woman who seems to be struggling in the life that they are living in. That’s the case in this film, “If I Go Will They Miss Me”. It features a young man who doesn’t exactly know what his life will bring, but it also features his parents who have to deal with their domestic issues. It’s a well-rounded film from the newcomer to filmmaking Walter Johnson-Hernandez. He does some similar things I’ve seen before in movies like “Moonlight” the 2016 Best Picture Winner, and then he does some existential stuff that is a little out there. That’s what makes this film so interesting in the end.

Lil Ant (Bodhi Dell) is a young man from Watts, California. He lives with his mother and two siblings in a housing project there. He does well in school and is an excellent artist. When his father Anthony (J Alphonse Nicholson) comes home from a prison sentence because of what he did as a child, it changes things for this young man trying to figure things out himself. His mother is proud of him, but his father is a bit standoffish. They used to go to the beach and do father son stuff. Now, his father works on a ranch and sells drugs in his free time. He also hangs out with his childhood friend. This shows he doesn’t have much time for his son unless he has to get mad at him for something or other. That’s when the boy’s mother Lozita (Danielle Brooks) steps in to console him. She’s in a tough place regarding these two because she loves them both. That’s the crux of this story: she’s in the middle of these two. One is a domineering adult man and the other a very good son who is coming into his own as a teenager.

Hernandez made a short story about this story. Now, he’s expanded it into a full-length feature film. It lends itself to a full-length movie because there is a lot going on in this story. I alluded to “Moonlight,” which had three arcs in it. The first arc about a young boy is the most similar to this film. They both feature Black youths trying to navigate a life in a struggling downtrodden community. One is in Miami, and as I mentioned already, the other is in a rough section of Los Angeles California. It’s not easy for kids to grow up in these types of communities, especially when they are different. As the adult Anthony says, his son is nothing like him. He’s an artist and good student who likes talking in class when called on. His school project is something that rubs his father the wrong way. It’s not like him. 

As mentioned, I talked about the existential aspects of this story. There are a few things that are head-scratchers until you watch the entire movie. There are a lot of shots of airplanes flying in the city, and this plays into an idea the movie is trying to get across to its viewers. About taking off, you never know where you can go. A second element of the story revolves around who this teenage boy performs his father as. This causes an issue with him because he doesn’t like how his son perceives him. This was fascinating to me because I had similar issues trying to see who my father truly was when I was a kid. He seemed like a bigger than life character to me growing until I got to know him better, and he wasn’t all that. There are a lot of different things this movie is trying to say. You just have to pay attention to see them more closely. 

Danielle Brooks has become an actress who filmgoers can remember from projects like “The Color Purple” where she garnered her first Academy award nomination and “The Bad Guys 2” where she voices a Kitty Kat and her television/streaming work in “Peacemaker” Seasons 1 & 2. She’s a bit of a comedic actress, but she’s well rounded. Her role in this film is a very dramatic one. She plays a mother of three and a nurse dealing with her returning boyfriend and her son trying to find himself. She owns this role, and I would have liked to see her more. She is the heart of this story stuck between these two. I would love to see her do more work like this in the future.

“If I Go Will They Miss Me” deals with some heavy topics, as the title suggests. The two main characters are well portrayed by the two actors who play them, but it is Brooks that steals the movie as the struggling mother in the middle between these two. She reminded me a lot of my mother. Even though she’s a Black woman in Watts. Besides the two main themes, there is an artsy style to the film that takes the audience out of the movie at times, but there is a reason why this existential stuff is there. You have to watch very closely to see how it all fits together.  Thompson-Hernandez, as a director, is someone who deserves to have more movies under his belt after this. He has a lot of ability as a filmmaker.

3 1/2