I’m not a woman. And I’m not a mother. I couldn’t imagine what women who are mothers go through giving birth or trying to raise a child. All I can say is that I have a mother who gave birth to four children, and I know a lot of women who have indeed and raised their own children. I have been told that giving birth to a child is the most painful thing anyone can go through. Comparing the strength of a woman who has gone through this is no comparison to any man, no matter how strong he is. That’s from a woman’s mouth, not mine, so don’t bite my head off. I will say this though “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” is the best film I’ve ever seen on the topic of motherhood and the struggles of raising a child. And I’ve seen a lot of them.

Linda (Rose Byrne) is a therapist and married mother of a daughter who has some kind of illness where she has to be hooked up to a feeding tube. Combined with a home disaster and her own practice, all of which weigh heavily on her mind. She tries to release her own pent-up energy on her therapist, played by Conan O’Brien, but It doesn’t work out the way she hoped it would. Things start to unravel in her life. She starts making decisions she would soon regret. These scenarios aren’t exactly what most women go through in similar circumstances as hers. That’s what makes this film so very interesting to me. I have a feeling that a lot of women will commiserate with what she is going through. It seemed like everything was overwhelming her. 

Rose Byrne is an actress I’ve come to know as a comedic performer. Her films, such as Nieghbors, Bridesmaids, and Instant Family, have made her a household name. She has been in the occasional horror movie and period piece as well. She’s one of those actresses that directors feel comfortable working with. In the last  couple of decades, I’ve enjoyed her as someone who I can count on for a good laugh. In her latest movie, she has some laughs, but I think they are unintentionally placed. This film wasn’t supposed to be that funny from what the topic is. It’s just the way the writer/director wrote it and got the performance out of Bryne and others. You just can’t help but laugh at some of the situations that take place. They are a bit absurd. Byrne plays in straight, though. She doesn’t lean into the obsudness of the situation she’s in. That is owed to her progression as an actress. She could have fallen back on her comedic chops, but she doesn’t. That is why this is one of the best performances of 2025 that I’ve seen thus far. This is sure to garner her an Oscar nomination in January. I, for one, would be glad to see that.

The supporting cast in this movie is equally as good as Bryne is. Starting Conan O’Brien, who is playing his role as a therapist straight as well. You can see he is having a hard time holding back his laughs because Bryne’s character is acting so crazy. A$AP Rocky, coming off of a great turn in Spike’s Highest to Lowest opposite Denzel Washington, is once again doing solid work here. He is thrust into the world of this woman and ends up paying for it. Danielle MacDonald is another mother who is going through a similar situation as the Bryne character, but she handles it in a different way. MacDonald brings a serious nature to the role. I really felt bad for what she was going through. Ella Beatty, the daughter of Warren Beatty and Annette Bening, is just one of many who are in the film in small roles but make a big impact. Add Ivy Wolk to that list as well. She’s coming off of her performance in the best picture, winning Anora back in March. This was a solid supporting cast that I enjoyed quite a bit.

The Writer/Director of this movie is Mary Bronstein. This is obviously an important topic for her to be dealing with. You dont just write a script about post pardon depression just for kicks.She infused a lot of herself into the narrative. This isn’t the first time she’s dealt with the female body or some sort of mindset for women regarding their bodies. She made a film called Yeast a few years back. I can see that for most men, these would be hard topics to watch in a film. They aren’t exactly the kind of movies we want to go see on the big screen. They are important topics, though, and the way Bronstein depicts them is very sensitive. She’s shows importance to the topic. Many women, I’m sure, will relate to this film and the crazy performances from Bryne and MacDonald. The script and direction are whipsmart. 

One thing i noticed right away about this movie was the crazy camera style. Bronstien chose to film the picture mainly from Bryne’s perspective. Using Christin Slater, as the husband and Delaney Quinn, as disembodied voices. I’ve seen narrators depicted off-screen, but never two main antagonists depicted this way. And yes, these are antagonists from my perspective because of the way they cause problems and make Bryne’s characters life so miserable. Even though they are her family, they drive her crazy. which, in turn, makes her do things she wouldn’t otherwise do. The viewpoint is if the camera shows the decline of Bryne’s character little by little. We are in her shoes in a way by the way the cinematography is used in this film. I think it helped make the story more impactful.

I touched on this earlier in the review, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t bring this up again. My mother raised four kids and constantly struggled. My sister had two children of her own, my sister in law three kids and my best friends wife two. I couldn’t put myself in their shoes. I can’t honestly feel what they felt during the days and months leading up to and falling having children. All I can say is it couldn’t have been easy. I wouldn’t want to be in their shoes to the life of me. Women are the true heroes of the world. What they do to bring children into the world, raise said children and then try to have a normal life is astounding to me. I am grateful to all the mothers out their married or single. You are incredible in so many ways. My mother, in particular, did yomans work considering what she had to deal with. That being said, it’s not easy for every woman to give birth to children and subsequently raise them in this world.

If I Had Legs I’d Kick You deals with a very sensitive subject matter. It’s something I’m sure a lot of women have dealt with of the years. Rearing and raising a child isn’t easy from what I have seen in my lifetime. I wouldn’t put myself in the shoes of any of my family members or friends who have had to do this. Taking care of myself is hard enough as it is. Bronstein shows the perspective of multiple women who are having trouble being mothers. She obviously had to have used her own experiences in the writing of this story. Bryne does a great job showing how hard it is to be a mother. The supporting cast is all fantastic, and the cinematography from the point of view that Bronstien as a director chose was very fascinating to me. This is going to be a very relatable film for many women, but Bryne gave to performance of her career. That will definitely put this movie at the forefront of awards talk. My respect goes out to all the mothers out there.

4 stars

Dan Skip Allen