By Nick Nitkowski

I’m not sure how I got so invested into the ongoing Poohniverse franchise. I know it all started with “Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey” which only existed because the property became public domain for anyone to use how they saw fit and everyone’s first thought was “horror”. The movie itself was bad, with a Rotten Tomatoes score of 3%. And yet, I couldn’t help but continue to watch when they released “Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey II”, and since then, I’ve gone all in on the Poohniverse. Now, the release schedule has been delayed since it was originally supposed to conclude back in 2025, but here we are in 2026 and the latest entry is finally here with only one film left to go afterwards, but until then, we have “Pinocchio Unstrung”.

“Pinocchio Unstrung” as you would have guessed, is a dark and twisted reimagined version of what we know of the story of Pinocchio. When a little boy named James tragically loses a close friend, his grandfather Geppetto is determined to make him a new friend, one that will never say goodbye. The only problem is that Pinocchio wants to become a real boy, so he must take parts from people in order to become real. 

When it comes to movies like these, you don’t expect much from them. You pretty much know what you’re getting yourself into the moment you secure your ticket and sit down in your seat. Just like with the first four entries, all you can do is surrender yourself to the absurdity that is to come. But out of all the entries in the “Poohniverse” franchise, I must say that this one is the best one yet by far. 

For starters, this is the first entry that has recognizable names attached to it. We have Richard Brake as Geppetto. If you don’t recognize the name, you’ve definitely seen his face. He’s been in plenty of movies like Rob Zombie’s “31”, “Doom”, “The Last Stop in Yuma County”, “Sisu: Road to Revenge”, and many others. More impressively, they managed to get Robert Englund, Freddy Krueger himself, to be the voice of Pinocchio’s twisted conscience Cricket. The rest are still unknown talents, much like the previous entries, but everyone did well with the material they were given.

The big thing that I give this movie major props for is their use of practical effects for the entire movie, with the only CGI element being Cricket. I couldn’t help but notice that the synchronization between puppet and dialogue was a little off sometimes, but despite that, I greatly appreciate and respect the use of practical effects over visual effects. In a world where everything relies on CGI to tell a story, I always welcome those who only use it when necessary. The design of the Pinocchio puppet was delightfully freaky looking as well, and the slightly off puppetry added an element of disturbance to the character, which really works for a horror rendition of this story.

Of course, with a movie like this, we expect to see blood and gore, and we certainly get that in this film. Because of the number of movies I’ve seen, I feel like I’ve been desensitized by violence in movies. The last horror movie I’ve seen that made me cringe was “Terrifier 2”. So, for me, it’s all about how creative the kills can be in a horror film. I can say that the kills in this film are creative enough to trigger a response from audiences, which was mostly laughter, which can be a good thing, and it was for this film because it was fun and one could argue that that’s the most important thing for a horror movie that contains a ridiculous premise to have, fun. 

Overall, I can easily say that I had fun watching “Pinocchio Unstrung”. I was impressed with the cast and even more impressed with the practical puppetry. The story is absurd, but you know that going in. This film embraces what it is and provides the necessary fun for horror fans. Thankfully, you don’t need to have seen the previous films of the “Poohniverse” to enjoy this one as they’ve all been standalone films. Surprisingly, none of them have teased the forthcoming entries like what Marvel does all the time. Maybe that’s a good thing, but at the same time, it’s become something we as audience members have come to expect, especially when we all know what’s coming next. But either way, this one to me was the best of the bunch, and that’s no lie. Moreso, I personally cannot wait for what I expect to be the magnum opus of this franchise, “Poohnivers: Monsters Assemble” which currently has no concrete release date.

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